Field notes from the belief workshop

Hello Reader,

I needed an update.

I didn’t realize I was running old software, an outdated way of perceiving myself until I read a review for my book on Instagram.

The reviewer said the book is written from the perspective of a wealthy woman, and I did a double-take. Who’s the wealthy woman? Oh! She’s talking about me. I’m the wealthy woman. Wait. I'm a wealthy woman.

I might not be loaded, but I'm doing what I love and not struggling or poor anymore.

I still had that 18-year-old view of the hole in the snow where my 1-liter bottle of Coke had stood before it was stolen outside my backdoor. My roommate made a midnight move the night before and took the fridge and stove. I had no idea how I was going to pay the rent or eat at home.

I lived in Montreal, and rental apartments weren't equipped with fridges and stoves. My roommate and I had bought the pair together, but she split in the dead of night taking half the kitchen with her.

I was on my last couple of hundred bucks from my student loan and facing the reality of needing to pause college and get a job. I had no idea how to budget, so I blew through the loan, stocking up on Shake n’ Bake and Mac n' Cheese, and drinks were often on me.

Devastated, shocked, and thirsty, I bought a liter of Coke, put it outside to chill, and someone snatched it. Staring at the gaping hole, tears started rolling down my cheeks. I slammed the backdoor, went to my bedroom, sat on my mattress on the floor, placed a book on top of my CD player to make it spin, and felt understood by Billie Holiday.

I cried until the tears turned into hysterical laughter. The situation felt ridiculous and surreal. I remember thinking, "If I can make it through this, I can make it through anything" and how liberating that felt (spoiler: I made it through).

That old survival mode - struggling, not having enough - is outdated software I didn't realize was running until I read that review. Sometimes, we place limitations on ourselves that become invisible until someone removes their cloak.

What helps us realize we're wearing outdated glasses? Other people. In my case, a book reviewer knocked them right off my face.

Some stories we tell ourselves are flashy, but others have been gathering dust for so long they've become part of the décor. They're most dangerous in the dark, blending into the background like an introvert at a party, quietly shaping our experience. Until someone shines a light on them - a reviewer, friend, coach, therapist, partner, or editor. That's when the real system update happens.

Sometimes, it’s easy to spot old stories, rewrite them, and reenact them daily to make them stick. But for those loitering within for so long, it’s hard to recognize them. Once we do, if that belief is no longer serving us, we’ll kill it. And they don’t want to die.

"I’m struggling to survive" made me fight, drive, work hard, push, grab what I was given and twist and bend it into the shape I wanted. It got me places, but now, it’s holding me back (plus, it’s pretty exhausting).

I developed this strategy when I was a teenager, and hey, f*cking high-five to 18-year-old me, but it is definitely time for an upgrade. I needed to see it to shift it.

Maybe simply being aware of the perception or belief and daily reminders (pausing and repeating: I'm a wealthy woman throughout the day like saying grace before whatever life moment I’m about to devour) are enough to update it.

And now that I see it? Watch what happens when I create as a wealthy woman.

Explosive, thunderous fireworks.

So, how might you see outdated, barely visible self-perceptions and craft new ones?

• Ask a friend, partner, colleague, or neighbor how they'd describe you. Notice anything surprising or unexpected?
• How do you see yourself? Is it old and in need of an update? Or aligned and in tune with where you are and where you want to be?
• When you wake up, what reality are you claiming for yourself (I'm a wealthy woman, baby)?

Keep creating,