Field notes from the locker room

Hello Reader,

I got lassoed in.

Hayden, one of my besties, said Ted Lasso was her favorite show.

I’m not a soccer fan, and I judged it as corny before giving it a chance, and dismissed it.

But I trust her judgment, so my husband and I gave it a shot and ended up crushing hard on Ted, tumbling into the London locker room. It’s deeper than it appears. Lasso shows us a different way of being and moving in the world.

The power of a series, when at its best, not only invites us to connect with characters and their stories, as we dive deeper into their world, episode by episode, but they model behavior. Sometimes, simply reminding us there is another way.

And another way is needed right about now.

Ted rubs a balm on my heart (I cried during a few episodes while eating dark chocolate with sea salt and almonds. My hormones are in full effect right now).

I wanted to bring some of the goodness of Ted to you and the sweet reminders I’m absorbing like a croissant dipped in coffee on a Sunday morning (that kind of feeling).

Spoiler alert: I share episode slices below.

1. Forget trying to join the cool kid club.

Usually that means trying to be someone you’re not, or self-edit or censor to ‘fit in’. Ted is beautifully uncool. He shows up with his heart on his sleeve and corny Dad jokes in his pockets. And people love him for it (eventually) because it’s genuine.

You get what you see. What feels safer than knowing someone isn’t hiding who they are and curating a version of themselves? F*ck being cool. The coolest thing ever is being who you are. There’s only one of you. Then let people choose. The right ones will find you and stay.

As a recovering nomad who went to over 10 schools, I shifted shapes to fit in with the cool kids. Be accepted, be popular, not only survive but thrive. But that meant shaving off parts of myself. As I get older, I’m easing into my weird shit, quirks, and strange ways of pronouncing words since I lived in many different countries. And I’m cool with it. Maybe that’s the most important thing: To be cool with yourself.

Ted definitely is and he models this for other people, drawing out their sweet toffee centers. Nothing beats being who you are (and staying true to yourself).

Vulnerability is a superpower and a magnet.

2. How much you know matters less than how you make people feel.

Ted, a mid-tier American football coach, arrives at AFC Richmond in London knowing nothing about soccer (or as the Brits say, football). But he knows how to connect with people and build a team. His players have always loved him. Ted cares deeply about people. He believes in them. Despite having all the odds stacked against him, he turns a fractured team into a cohesive one.

This isn't a fairy tale where belief guarantees victory - Richmond gets relegated in their first season. But they face it together. Because Ted shows us it's not about winning or losing, it's about trying, believing, and playing together.

3. Don’t lose the fun.

In one episode, the newly minted captain of the team, Isaac McAdoo, gets stressed, starts to take it all too seriously, and the pressure weighs him and the team down. The former captain, the fantastic cursing, grunting, Roy Kent, takes McAdoo to his old neighborhood field, where he grew up playing soccer.

Confused and frustrated, McAdoo asks why Kent brought him here to play with amateurs, and he answers, “I brought you here to remind you that football is a fucking game that you used to play as a fucking kid because it was fun. Even when you were getting your fucking legs broken or your fucking feelings hurt. So fuck your feelings, fuck your overthinking, fuck all that bullshit. Go back out there and have some fucking fun.”

What a beautiful reminder for how to do this thing called life. We’re here to have fun with the one life we’ve got. Whatever we’re building, creating, experiencing, we get to have fun with it. Hopefully, that’s what drew us to the thing in the first place. If it’s not fun, why do it?

It often starts out as fun, but when success, pressure, or busyness kicks in, it can be easy to forget to play with it. Even when it’s not easy, when your legs get broken or your feelings get hurt, it can still be fun.

I’ve felt (created) pressured to bring my book, Welcome to the Creative Club, into the world, and I found myself slowly attaching to outcomes. This episode reminded me to have fun with it all - whether I ‘win or lose’.

So, whatever you’re doing, remember to enjoy it. And if it’s ain’t fun, maybe it’s time to do something else.

4. Kindness is not transactional.

Ted lifted Nate from bullied kit boy cleaning cleats to associate coach, only to have him leak Ted's panic attack to the press and jump ship to a rival team. Through it all, Ted stays Ted. No bitterness, no revenge, just kindness. Even when Nate slags him off to the press, Ted compliments him and cracks jokes at his own expense to journalists. Not as a strategy, but because it's who he is.

Even when Nate deserves his rage, Ted chooses compassion. He sees past Nate's betrayal to his pain. And watching this, you can't help but love Ted more - because he refuses to let anyone else's choices change who he is.

A powerful reminder to sprinkle kindness wherever you go like Salt Bae, and not let what happens to you change who you are or close your heart.

5. We all need a Beard. Or a few if we’re lucky. Ted doesn’t go to London alone. He has Coach Beard with him through it all. They just get each other. Complement each other. As loquacious as Ted is, Beard is quiet. But he’s definitely his own character. Their friendship is a beam they lean on, and they have a blast as they work and coach together. Reminds me of my Beard, Hayden, a coach, writer, creative conspirator, and the woman who brought Lasso into my life. We’re cooking up something mouthwatering I can’t wait to share with you all. Watch this space.

There are countless lessons in this show, but these five really stayed with me. We can use more Lassos in the world. Or maybe we just need reminders to be who we truly are.

To be beautifully, unapologetically ourselves.

To choose kindness when it's hardest.

To remember this whole thing is meant to be fun.

Keep creating what only you can,